Letting down your guard

It has been a while. I can't even begin to explain how crazy busy I have been these last couple weeks. It is only going to get busier from here on out. I thought his growing up thing would be easy. The complete opposite has happened recently and as always their is a reason behind it. For those of you who know me really well, I am not patient at all. So this has been a struggle to say the least.

This post is about letting down your guard. Not only for me but for anyone. I have come across to many people who just put on that face that everything is okay and we believe it and go on with our day. Sadly, in the end, these people are hurting and they will never say anything if you don't try to pull it out of them. It is sad but true because I am stubbornly the same way.

After a fun fulfilled weekend yet again in Corvallis, I had to leave once again to come home to West Linn. I have once never lied about how I have been in Portland. I am really enjoying my job, so I have absolutely no complaints there! The problem lies in trying to get one plugged into a church up here and two meeting some new people and putting myself out there.

If you know me, I am generally an outgoing guy. But take me out of my comfort zone, that is a different story. I understand that summer time is summer time and I can't control anything that goes on. I can't help it that I love a lot of people and just want to be their for them during some really important times in their life. I do this because I know they would do it for me. The sacrifice has taken a toll on me and the moral of the story is I am physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.

I title this post letting down your guard because one it is hard to do. There are always those same people that ask for prayer I sometimes go like "really", have you given that up to God? But when it comes to me I feel like I am fine and okay. Leaving Corvallis yet again was the hardest thing for me today. That in the past has been my comfort zone. Each week I have been their leaving has been harder and harder. I long to have Portland become my comfort zone and to meet some new people so I can yet again become part of that fellowship that is super important for our walk with the Lord. We can't do it alone.

I am upset that I have let it come this far and I apologize to the people who I just lied to your face and have been praying for me. Now I can't do it anymore, I am letting down my guard and letting you know where I am at. My prayer is that you would pray that I would get plugged in to a church up here, that I would step out of my comfort zone, that I would let down my guard and be open to new things. I will never forgot the friendships I had in Corvallis. But now it is a new chapter in my life and I can't do it without one Jesus and one prayer.

Matthew 11:28-30 has been my reminder and my prayer. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

That is my prayer and thank you all who have always been there for me! I am so blessed and can't wait to see what the future holds. Until then I will lean on Jesus for understand and trust His every move in this next chapter of my life. God bless and thanks for reading

Underestimation and appreciation

Well I just successfully got back from Corvallis this morning after surprising my brother for his 21st birthday yesterday. It was really good to see him, to bad I couldn't stay longer and had to get back up here. It is crazy how little the traffic is in the morning. One hour and twenty minutes to get back to West Linn was faster than I was thinking.

It was also really good to see some people I haven't seen since I moved. After surprising my brother at Real Life, the college ministry I was apart of in school, a big group of us went to BWW to celebrate with him. Sadly for me I don't get BWW anymore after a bad experience a couple months ago but it was good to catch up with everyone even if it was only for a couple hours. It was a good idea to leave this morning instead of last night to come back to West Linn. I feel like I have the strength to already get through the day. I know that won't be the case come two o'clock when I hit a wall. Coffee will be my best friend then.

Driving back this morning and talking with my buddy Bryce last night at BWW really got me thinking. I love times like this when it is just you and God. The sunrise was beautiful as well this morning. The last month I have been reading a new book by John Eldredge called Beautiful Outlaw. The book is structured around rediscovering and experiencing the playful, disruptive, and extravagant personality of Jesus. Reading through this book as well as just observing the world around me, I have come to realize how we as believers underestimate the Gospels and discovering who Jesus was and is.

In today's world, people are just to easily convinced and persuaded which is a dangerous thing to think. Just going through this book has reminded me of who Jesus was and is! Today society tells us that God is not a personal God and he is to distant and worthy to approach in all of His glory. The fact of the matter is that God was man as well. Jesus was as much human as you and me are today. Though he was God, he had feelings and emotions too. If he didn't who would just willing submit themselves to go to the cross to save all of mankind? Thinking about this has made me realize how much I have underestimated and appreciated the power of the Gospels.

Those words in red are so powerful! When was the last time you really sat down and studied the Gospels and Jesus and his words? I think we all take them for granted. We will read other books in the Bible which are great too that also talk about who Jesus was but Jesus also talked too. These thoughts that have popped up into my head are definitely gonna get me back into the Gospels.

I would totally recommend John Eldredges book if you are looking for a good read! It is so simple and yet we are so easily distracted. It is crazy! I love how God works during times like these. I can't thank Him enough for all He as already done. Hope this blesses you all this morning. Until next time...

Tidal Waves

This evening I just got back from a great weekend in Bend and Corvallis. There will be many more trips this month which I am looking forward too. I just have to find time to rest somewhere in between there :) This post is brought about from a sermon I heard earlier at Calvary Chapel today in Corvallis. The sermon title "The Storms of Life" really hit home with me and I am pretty sure the whole congregation in attendance. To dig deeper to why this topic of discussion is on my heart let me give a little background to today.

I left Corvallis after church to get back to West Linn. Since April I have been waiting for some exam scores to come back on my Fundamentals of Engineering exam. Since being a student my goal in life has been to someday become a professional engineer. This would only take four years of practical experience in the field of civil engineering after I pass my FE exam. Having a great job and all I was on the right path to making this dream possible in four years.

I finally get the letter in the mail, the results are not what I am looking for. I was pretty disappointed to be honest. I did everything I could to pass that exam. 98% of students from OSU that are CE students pass the exam. I took review courses and everything to help me prepare for it to. God just didn't mean it to be at this moment in time. So next April, I will prepare just a little bit harder and retake the 8 hour exam and pray that this is what God has for me if it lines up with His will for my life moving forward.

So going back to the sermon earlier in the day. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. To clarify, I have no regrets taking the job I have in Portland. I believe it what what God had for me during this season of my life at this very moment. To go with that it hasn't been easy. I have had my ups and downs, but overall I am so thankful and blessed for what God has already given me so far at this stage in my life. No regrets at all!

Today Pastor Rob mentioned different kinds of storms that at some point in our life we will encounter. Examples were storms of direction, correction, redirection, and perfection. Earlier this summer I made the book of Hebrews my study book. I am still diving into it and God continues to reveal new things to me everytime! By far my favorite chapters in Hebrews have to be 11 and 12. The author of Hebrews states in chapter 12 to not grow weary during the hard times in our life. In verse 11 it says, " for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." In James it says count it joy all your various trials. I love these reminders in my life and the cross references. There are so many people throughout the Bible who have endured way much more than I ever have. Take Job and Joseph as two examples. I couldn't imagine spending one day in either of their shoes.

I wouldn't necessarily call this next chapter of my life a storm. Sure I have had ups and downs but God is really just trying to help me. It would have been nice to pass that exam but that exam doesn't define who I am as a person or who I am in Christ. I am so thankful to serve a Lord that no matter how many times I mess up He still loves me. What a loving Father. Just in the past month I have learned so much more about myself, something I wouldn't have had the chance to learn if I stayed in Corvallis and wasn't obedient and faithful to what I believe is God's calling on my life. Stepping out has been hard but it has been one of the best life decisions I have made so far. Now I just have to put myself out there and see what the Lord can do :)

If you didn't have the chance to hear Rob's message, I would recommend it. I don't know what anyone is going through right now but I can guarantee it will bless you in some way. Don't know if this blog even made since but it was what was on my heart, God bless

The Best Shape of my Life

So I know that this title may sound misleading. No I am not in the best shape of my life, yet. Though it is a huge passion I have on my heart. Something that I haven't been able to do since high school. As of last week, fast food is no longer a part of my diet. I don't know if that is something God told me to do but I am sure glad I am doing it moving forward. To move along with that I have a gym membership now, not cable television. Therefore my lifestyle has no choice but to change.

Before I moved to Portland I have always wanted to be in good cardio shape to run my grandmothers 5K fun run on the 4th of July. If it wasn't for a friend of mine being willing to run with me to get in shape I would have never ran the 5K with the confidence I did on the 4th. After that run and moving to Portland I desired to get a gym membership. Now I have one. As an engineering student the past 5 years at OSU, my schedule never allowed me to have the schedule I do now. Starting tomorrow will be the beginning of what should get me to the best shape of my life.

On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I will lift weights on this 5x5 program my buddy Zack recommended me back in January. Given my schedule then it was the only thing I could possibly pull off so I am actually looking forward to having more than enough time to do it. On Tuesdays and Thursdays in the morning I plan to still do cardio. Though that 5K has passed I still desire to feel good and to look good. Not eating fast food anymore and preparing more food defiantly has me feeling better than I ever have. Looking good is another issue.

I will be honest. I have never given two thoughts about my figure going through college. But once bagels became an every other day thing and I discovered some good beers I have put on a gut a little bit. I look okay with my shirt off but I need to look great from my perspective. That means I have to find that 6 pack I once had and I can tell you it isn't in the fridge. Sit ups will begin to become my friend again just like they were in high school.

I look forward to recording the process over the next couple of months. I have always been a goal driven individual. These goals that I have made if I break then or fail I will be disappointed. That isn't going to happen. Usually in the past I have had accountability when it comes to having to workout or go for a run. I don't have that yet but at the same time I don't need that. These goals and this drive I have to meet these goals should be enough motivation. That is what drives me! I look forward to being in the best shape of my life in the coming future. Not only do I hope to see a difference I hope you can see a difference too. In a good way and not a stuck up way :) God bless

Hope, His Word, Our Faith

These last two weeks in my new home have been some of the best times when it comes to getting into God's Word. As an engineering student during the school year I could never invest the time in God's Word like I wanted to. It wasn't that I didn't have the time, I just chose to do other things. Whether that be serve others, do homework, or have a fun time with friends. Recently since being in the Word more, I have found God revealing more and more to me. I have come to believe he puts these opportunities and desires before us to not only teach us but to bless us as well. I will share a little with what He has shown me recently.

Since I've moved I've been going back in forth through the Bible. I first have started by reading a chapter of Hebrews a day, which I am almost done with, going through Jon Courson's commentary on Hebrews, transcribing Philippians which has been such a blessing, and digging into Psalm 119. During these times hope, His Word, and our faith have really stuck out to me. Here is how.

In Hebrews 6:19 it says, "we have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain". I read this over a week ago. This put the image of an anchor on my heart. What makes this crazy is that I know of at least three people who have shared on the same thing in regards to how the anchor symbolizes our hope in our Lord. I recently purchased the newest Hillsong Live album. There last song on the album is called Anchor and has become one of my favorites. Below is the link to the song. I suggest you check it out. It has blessed me.

Anchor - Hillsong Live

With being in the Word more lately, I decided why not read Psalm 119 again. I have in the past but why not dig into it a little more. I am not an English major but I love the way this psalm is written. The mention of the "word" is mentioned 28 times unless I missed one. That right there sends up a red flag to me for something of importance. Going through Courson's commentary he mentions that people who don't like to worship are people who are not in the Word. He also mentions that when times are easy, we usually don't take the time to search God's mind or to hear His heart. It's in affliction, difficulty, or problems that we tend to open the Scriptures much more. This hit home for me. This is a new season for me, I have been having a blast but it hasn't been easy. I am so thankful that for the time being I am living by myself for this season to build new habits in my life when it comes to God's Word. It is something that when I look back I will be happy with I know for sure!

Yesterday I went to a church right up the road from me that my cousin recommended. Willamette Christian Church was what it was called. I really liked it but I want to check out a couple more churches before I make my decision on a new church home. The teaching came out of Galatians 3:1-14. A passage that mentions faith. The same way we enter the Christian faith is the same way we are to advance in the faith. Faith puts you in right relation with God. During the sermon I turned back my Bible to Hebrews 11:6 which I read earlier that morning. It says, "and without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him". Not even 5 minutes later he mentioned this passage. What a reminder to me about how important it is to continue to put my faith in Him daily!

Lastly I want to share a picture I posted on Instagram yesterday morning. You can see it below.

I finally got to unpacking everything from the move up here and came across the letter my brother wrote me before I left for Singapore during Spring Break. The verse of encouragement he wrote down happened to be Psalm 18:30. This verse has always been one of my favorites but to be honest I had forgotten about it. Everything God has been showing me lately points to Him. It is an overall theme. It will always be like that. I am just so thankful that I notice it more now. Even though I have just begun this new chapter in my life, I never want this to stop. My prayer is that He would continue to reveal Himself to me everyday in different new ways. It has been a blessing for me. 

My hope is that somehow something somewhere will bless you in this post. It is an honor to serve God and I am completely overwhelmed by the love He has for not only me but for you. Thanks for reading, until next time...

Familiarity and other things

Another week has come in the books. It is hard to believe I’ve already been working for two weeks! Time surely flies! I continue to be amazed with how much God has blessed me with my jobs and family and friends I am surrounded by. It sure makes waking up in the morning a lot easier.

This last week of work was pretty busy. I put in 48 hours with some Saturday work which will only come sparingly when needed. I continue to learn new things with the computer program AutoCAD where I do all of my work. I finally got out of the office a little bit to do some surveying work as well as go see the site I would be doing the weekend work for. I am so thankful to have a job that will always keep me busy for the most part. Each day is something new and that is something I like.

A difference this week from my first week is the familiarity I am starting to get with the Portland area and the surroundings. Each day of the week I was doing something in the evening which is something I don’t usually do. In the past when I have had a job over the summer and I’ve worked 8-5 I would just come home and do nothing. Some of you may not see it but it does take a lot of courage for me to step outside my comfort zone something I am learning how to do better.

Tuesday night I had dinner with my grandparents which will start to become a regular thing week to week from the looks of it. I can’t complain that means I won’t have to cook J Wednesday night I went to the gym and hung out with my buddy Jonathan and his girl Kelise. It was good to catch up with them. Thursday I saw Despicable Me 2 which was hilarious and visited my buddy Sina at a 24 hour coffee shop called Ava’s. I pretty cool joint. On Friday I played basketball with Sina and Danny then Danny and I went and visited our friends Roxy and Lucy in Beaverton and hung out with them for the rest of the night. We went to this place called Henry’s Tavern which was pretty cool! I barely got any sleep that night then had to be in Vancouver by 8 to cut blackberry bushes which sucked. But overall it was a pretty busy week and I really enjoyed it J

Yesterday I picked up my cousin from the airport in the morning. He most likely will be moving in with me in September so I showed him the place and got to catch up a bit which was nice. Next I tried out the church up the road from where I live. It is called Willamette Christian Church. I really liked it but am not going to make a decision for a little bit until I try other churches out. I will have another post devoted to the things God has been showing me later on. I finished the evening with some grocery shopping. I should be set for the next month. I am gonna get myself on a workout/run routine for every other day in the week starting today! That begins with eating healthier to which also starts today. I am excited to see what I have ahead of me in the future. Look forward to future posts, God bless.

A great first week and a very busy weekend!

Well my weekend was full of excitement. I have yet to branch out to find that excitement in Portland but the weekend I had in Corvallis was great! It is still weird writing it in that order because usually it is the other way around. Now that I am a working man, the roles are switched. Still settling in but I will get used to it I am sure. It was good seeing everyone as it is always.

I want to find the best way to keep everyone informed with my life up here. I am so blessed to have so many people who care about what I am actually doing with my life. I am lost but not forgotten as some would say. I hope this blog will be used to fill you in on the latest news in my life ranging from work, life experiences and whatever God is showing me at the moment in time. I hope you can find enjoyment out of my posts somehow.

Starting on the day before my first day of work, it was my birthday. It was relaxing and quiet which was different for me, but I liked it. After saying a thank you on FB for the birthday wishes, I ‘wanted’ to go to bed. I then began to get text after text wishing me a happy birthday. My brother then managed to post a photo of me and him that made me tear up. The day before I have my first day of work I didn’t go to bed until 1:30am. It was for a good reason though so I am thankful.

Monday comes. I head to work. I work for a really small design engineering firm so I wasn’t too nervous. I started off my day trying to get familiar with the software they use every day since I haven’t used it in 3 years. After calculating some areas of sub-division parcels for 4 hours (should have took me 45 minutes) the boss had me proceed to update some existing documents that have been reviewed by the City of Gresham. Before I knew it 5pm came around. The day went by so fast but just from that one day I could tell I would love what I am doing, at the time being J

Tuesday became pretty much the same thing. After lunch though my boss pulled me into the conference room to discuss one of the projects they have received. He then proceeds to tell me that I would be the main designer for these projects! I was shocked! Talk about throwing me into the fire, but I have to learn at some point so I was up to the challenge. I kept myself busy the rest of the day that is for sure.

Wednesday was pretty much the same thing, working on the project. At the end of the day, it being the 3^rd, I jumped into my car and headed to Eagle Point for a quick round trip. Though I would have to work Friday I still wanted to go one to see family and two I had been training for a 5K and really wanted to run in it. The morning of the 4^th I ran the 5K and got 3^rd overall in my age group and a time of 22:45! I was happy with myself and hope to continue to get in shape in the coming months.

Before getting back into the car my cousin and his wife were having a cake reveal for there soon to be child. It was so creative and cute and they will be having a baby girl in November! I am so happy for them and can’t wait for Amelia Rose Erickson to be entered into this world. After the reveal I began to head home to West Linn. Really quick trip.

Friday only three people including myself were in the office, kind of a weird day since most of the rest of the country had the day off but I am the noob so I dealt with it and kept myself busy with my project. At the end of the day I would then head in the car again to Corvallis this time for a really fun weekend little did I know. My buddy Danny picked me up and we proceeded to Corvallis.

Our first stop was a birthday party for our friend Kayla then out to a cabin for a 5^th of July firework campout. It was a blast and the firework show wasn’t bad either, 12 minutes. The next day after having breakfast at my buddies grandparents place I just hung out with friends and relaxed the whole day, it was really nice to have a day like that with all of them. We attempted to go to the drive in movie theater after the UFC fights but were denied. We decided to go back to my brothers place and watch a movie instead to end the night.

Today, as I write this was my first time to Calvary Chapel Corvallis as a visitor and not a resident. The service was really good and I am so blessed to have called that church my home for the last 5 years. I am looking forward to finding my new home in Portland soon. After church I got lunch with some really good friends of mine, met up with a buddy downtown, played some Frisbee with some other friends as well as some volleyball before heading back to West Linn where I sit writing this post.

There is so much more I could expound on at the moment. I don’t want to leave this blog post too long but there has been some really good times in the evening that I have had that I plan on sharing with all of you soon depending on when I getting to blogging on it. To entice you a little bit God has been revealing things to me this past week and I believe what he has shown me will not of course benefit me but also some of you. I look forward to sharing that with you soon! Along with that I hope to keep you all informed more, you all mean so much to me so I feel I owe it to you. Thanks so much for always being there for me! Love you all! Until next time J